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The Gazette
The GazetteNotice No. 005/2026In force
Public Notice No. 005/2026 of the Stingy Men's Association — Clarification on the Term “A Small Thing”. The full text is transcribed below.
Public Notice No. 005/2026 · 9 June 2026View full size

Public Notice No. 005/2026Clarification on the Term “A Small Thing”

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Stingy Men's Association

Office of the President

Every Penny Has a Home

PUBLIC NOTICE No. 005/2026

TO: THE GENERAL PUBLIC

SUBJECT: Clarification on the Term “A Small Thing”

The Wallet Protection Unit has completed a six-year review of requests introduced with the phrase “it's a small thing”.

Of the requests examined, none concluded as a small thing. The Unit was unable to identify a single instance in which the eventual figure bore any relationship to the figure implied at the point of introduction.

The Association therefore advises members to treat the phrase as an opening position rather than a description, and to respond with the counter-question, “Small how?”, which the Unit has found to be the single most effective sentence in the language.

Related phrases carrying the same risk profile include “nothing much”, “just something small”, “don't worry about it” and “we'll sort it out later”.

Julius RockPresident
STINGY MEN'S ASSOCIATION · WALLET PROTECTION UNIT · · APPROVED WITH RELUCTANCE ·

This is satire

This notice is satire. The Stingy Men's Association is not a real organisation, has issued no directives to anybody, and has no authority over your weekend.