Stingy Men's Association
Office of the President
Every Penny Has a Home
PUBLIC NOTICE No. 005/2026
TO: THE GENERAL PUBLIC
SUBJECT: Clarification on the Term “A Small Thing”
The Wallet Protection Unit has completed a six-year review of requests introduced with the phrase “it's a small thing”.
Of the requests examined, none concluded as a small thing. The Unit was unable to identify a single instance in which the eventual figure bore any relationship to the figure implied at the point of introduction.
The Association therefore advises members to treat the phrase as an opening position rather than a description, and to respond with the counter-question, “Small how?”, which the Unit has found to be the single most effective sentence in the language.
Related phrases carrying the same risk profile include “nothing much”, “just something small”, “don't worry about it” and “we'll sort it out later”.
This is satire
