Stingy Men's Association
Office of the President
Every Penny Has a Home
PUBLIC NOTICE No. 006/2026
TO: ALL MEMBERS WITH VEHICLES
SUBJECT: On the Collection and Delivery of Persons from the Airport
Members who own vehicles have reported a sharp increase in requests for airport collection, particularly from persons whose flights land between eleven at night and five in the morning.
The Association wishes to record that an airport run comprises three distinct costs — fuel, parking, and the waiting — and that the waiting is the most expensive of the three, being non-refundable and paid in life.
A member may perform an airport collection as an act of genuine affection. He may not be volunteered for one by a third party, and he may not be described in advance as “the one with the car” in any group chat to which he does not belong.
This notice is currently under review, following representations from members who say that it has cost them access to the car park at all.
This is satire
