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1Stingy Men's AssociationEvery Penny Has a Home
The Gazette
The GazetteNotice No. 004/2026In force
Public Notice No. 004/2026 of the Stingy Men's Association — On Airtime, Data Bundles and the Hotspot. The full text is transcribed below.
Public Notice No. 004/2026 · 28 June 2026View full size

Public Notice No. 004/2026On Airtime, Data Bundles and the Hotspot

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1

Stingy Men's Association

Office of the President

Every Penny Has a Home

PUBLIC NOTICE No. 004/2026

TO: ALL MEMBERS

SUBJECT: On Airtime, Data Bundles and the Hotspot

The Association reaffirms that a mobile hotspot is a privilege extended to a guest, and not a public utility owed to a room.

Members are advised that the request “can you just put on your hotspot” has never, in the recorded history of the Association, been followed by a small download.

The following requests are declined by default:

  • “send me airtime, I'll refund you” — the refund has never arrived;
  • “just 1GB” — it is never just 1GB;
  • “my bundles are finished” — so are everyone's;
  • “let me use your phone to call” — the call will be long.

A member may extend his hotspot at his own discretion for a period not exceeding four minutes, after which he is entitled to say the battery is low, whether or not the battery is low.

Leonardo DiCaprioMinister of Youth
Roger SentongoMinister of Information
STINGY MEN'S ASSOCIATION · WALLET PROTECTION UNIT · · APPROVED WITH RELUCTANCE ·

This is satire

This notice is satire. The Stingy Men's Association is not a real organisation, has issued no directives to anybody, and has no authority over your weekend.