Stingy Men's Association
Office of the President
Every Penny Has a Home
PUBLIC NOTICE No. 002/2026
TO: ALL MEMBERS IN GOOD STANDING
SUBJECT: On the Phrase “I'll Get the Next One”
It has come to the attention of the Registry that the phrase “I'll get the next one” is being issued casually, at volume, and by members who have no intention of getting the next one.
The Association wishes to clarify that the phrase constitutes a binding financial instrument. It is dated from the moment of utterance, matures after ninety days, and is transferable only with the written consent of both parties.
Members are reminded that the instrument does not expire merely because the venue has closed, the group has dispersed, or the member has changed his number.
The following are NOT valid discharges of the obligation:
- buying a smaller item at a later date and describing it as “the same thing”;
- arriving after the bill has been settled and expressing loud regret;
- offering to “send it later”, where later is not specified;
- reminding the group of a favour performed in 2021.
Members who have accumulated more than four outstanding instruments will be moved to Provisional standing and may not use the phrase again until the register is cleared.
This is satire
